November, counselor, and bats in the belfry.

 

On November 14th I had the third and last meeting with my counselor.

I started this post after my first meeting with her, but I have never published it… not enough time to write and polish the post. 

The meeting was possible thanks to my employer. Unfortunately I got to understand about this benefit late. But it’s better late than never. 

Honestly, I still don't understand the difference between counselors, psychologists, and therapists. 

Katie called herself a counselor. So, the counselor she was.

The theme of the session was the fear of driving. Did you know this fact about me?

I truly believe that people should learn to drive as early as possible (16-18 yo). I had to learn it in my 40s. I did well, got my license, and a few months later got in a car accident. 

Here I picture Macaulay Calkin in the movie “Home alone”: “It bothered me for years” 😁 (The accident)

Yes, I have been driving all these (8) years but it was not pleasant. 

I actually like to drive. I like the fact that I can bring myself from point A to point B on my own, not asking my husband or friends. And living in the small city you just have to drive in order to get a good job. 

I thought that unpleasant feelings will disappear with time. But it didn’t happen. 

I started looking for information about what to do.. I read books, I talked to my husband, I made my car my comfort zone, I kept driving on my own and with Crackle. (I am not sure that driving with Crackle can be called comfort 😁).

I figured out that the problem was in my head, and I needed help, professional help. 

It was my colleague who mentioned this benefit program (from the employer). She didn’t use it though. 

But I decided to give it a try. I am glad I did.

According to my counselor the accident went unprocessed and I got a conclusion that I was a bad driver. In fact, I was an inexperienced driver.  She gave me other examples of how I should interpret my actions in a positive way.

Of course it takes time to clear your brain from negative thoughts but you’ve got to make a start to get started. 

We spoke 3 times (what I was eligible for). 

Honestly, I don't know how I feel now. 

I still get a little bit nervous when I drive to unfamiliar places. I would still look up my directions online. I also use Google maps on my phone even while driving to work. The City does a lot of construction work on the streets, you never know which street will be blocked. 

I think it all helps.

Katie said that I worry about things that might never happen, and I need to stop thinking about them, just drive. 😅

So, I try not to worry. 

Well, I wanted to confess about the weak side of my personality.

I am not a Wonder woman and superhero, unfortunately, and I have my own bats in the belfry.

Feel free to share about your headlock, if you have one, 😅